EggsOverEggs

Allow Me To Introduce Myself My Name is…

I picked up Jay-Z’s latest collection of beats written by…someone else the other day.  It’s a little album called “The Blueprint 3″  I’m not a huge fan of Jay-Z, but I figured I’d purchase this one since I could get it for $1.75 off my Russian music site, and since Hov was supposedly “retired” I assumed this album must have contained such great songs it was worth it for him to come out of retirement just to make it.  A lot of people retire from their normal jobs just so they can make music so what the hell was Jay-Z doing while he was retired?  Working as a greeter at Wal-Mart?  Could you imagine that? 

Jay-Z  “UnHH!!! Welcome to Wal-Mart.  Allow me to introduce myself my name is Hov!!!”

Customer “Now listen here feller.  I’m lookin fer two things in perticular.  I’m lookin fer some bras and panties fer the little lady, and I’m fixin on pickin up some 12 Gauge buck shot fer ma over-under.  Goin huntin’ in the mornin.”

Jay-Z “Yeah.  UHHH!!!!  All my niggas wit the rubber grips Bust shots.  And if you wit me ma I’ll rub on your tits and what not.”

Customer “Boy what the hell did you just say to me?”

Jay-Z “UHH!! We must not let outsiders violate our block”

Customer “This ain’t a block it’s a Goddam Wal-Mart git yer head outta yer ass.”

Well you could imagine how the rest of that forced social interaction would go so perhaps it’s a good thing Jay-Z came out of retirement. 

Getting back to this new album, I would like to examine the title for a hot sweaty moment.  When Jay-Z made “The Blueprint 1″, I assumed the title of the album was to make all other rappers aware of the fact that this is how rap albums are made and that this is what hip hop now sounds like.  What else is a blueprint but a set of detail schematic drawings intended to denote precisely how something should be made?  In that vein I would make the arguement that the following two “Blueprint” albums are a misnomer.  If the blueprints had already been laid out in the first “Blueprint” album, then second two should have been entitled thusly: “The Blueprint: Lyrical Revision with enhancements by Kanye West”, and “Blueprint: Revised Edition 2009-10 with auditory augmentations by Alicia Keys, Young Jeezey, Mr. Hudson and AutoTune.” This way the albums would have been properly labeled as continuations of the original as opposed to completely separate and different albums from one another.

I’ve only given “The Blueprint 3″ one run-through so far and I was driving so I spent most of that time screaming “I HATE YOU”  at other motorists and texting, but what I heard wasn’t that great.  Two songs stand out from the rest of the album and they just so happen to be the two singles that are in heavy rotation on all the top 40 radio stations today.  If you listen to contemporary/pop music, you will know these songs are; “Empire State of Mind. Feat. Alicia Keys” and “Young Forever. Feat. Mr. Hudson” The latter samples the late 80′s German SynthPop band Alphaville’s hit single “Forever Young” made wildy popular among today’s “college know it all/ I think this is cool because MTV tells me so but really I don’t get it and I want to go home and study but my friends would call me a loser and make me take prescription drugs until I’m not depressed anymore so I just smile and go along with it like all the other sheep” crowd by the movie “Napoleon Dynamite”.  The former “Empire State of Mind” is, IMO, the only good song on the album.  It is the only one with a good beat, and the hook with Alicia Keys’ vocals is irresistable.  The louder you listen to it the better it sounds. 

The rest of the songs are so-so.  Just filler.  There are a few guest appearances but nothing mind blowing.  It seems as if all the things that made Jay-Z’s songs so cool to listen to listen are missing from this album.  Not great beats or hooks, no super clever lyrics that really stand out.  I’m thinking this was a “search for more money” thing more than it was anything else.

Please keep in mind that I really have only listened to this album once.  If you base your decision on wheter or not to purchase “The Blueprint 3″ off this review, I feel bad for you.  Perhaps a few more run-throughs and I’ll start to pick up some good metaphors and solid bass-lines but none for right now.  Except for “Empire State of Mind”.  That song is quickly making it’s way up my Itunes playcount.