EggsOverEggs

Athenian II

In my formative years my father often spoke of an establishment he would frequent as a youth following long nights of playing shows to sell out crowds, drinking, and hauling musical instruments in and out of night clubs.  This establishment was the Union 76 Truck Stop.  A diner at a rest area on I95 in Branford.  He would speak of the amazing breakfast food they offered 24 hours a day at dirt cheap prices.  Most noteable was one dish of which he spoke very highly.  The “Tandom Special” was six eggs over easy with sides of sausage, bacon, and a “truckload” of toast.   Enthralled with stories of this mythical restaurant I started out to find my own Union 76.

My father was/still is a musician, and in his younger years he played in bands in the New Haven area.  These gigs would regularly last until the wee hours of the morning so a place like the Union 76 truck stop was vital in order to refuel, ingest some caffeine and be prepared for the day job which he would attend on little or no sleep.

I am not a musician.  I do not play shows in night clubs or haul around musical instruments.  My knowledge of musical instruments is extremely limited and sometimes when I touch them they break.  I do however enjoy drinking and staying up late.  And more than that I enjoy awesome breakfast food available 24 hours a day at dirt cheap prices.  For this reason I felt it necessary to find a place of my own.  Everyone knows the usual “breaksfast all day” places like IHOP and Dennys, but those places fuckin suck.  I don’t care what you think.  If you’ve ever eaten at one of those place and not had to immediately run screaming to a bathroom clenching your asscheeks together, you are inhuman.  Nothing tries my intestinal fortitude more than these two restaurants.  I’ve had some pretty bad days, but I think the absolute worst day of my life would be if I were forced to eat at both of these establishments as like a breakfast/lunch combo.  I would be out of commission for the rest of the day.  My stomach can handle spicy food, mexican, indian, chinese and pretty much anything else you fry up and throw at it, but poorly prepared, cheap breakfast food is a deal breaker.  Not only does it offend my most delicate palate, but I don’t think I even have time to digest it before it’s on its way out the other end. 

Sorry that was kinda gross.

So, chain restaurants aside, by way of habit I fell in love with the Athenian Diner in Middletown, Ct.  The full name is the Athenian II as there are three others located in New Haven, Waterbury, and Milford, but that’s neither here nor there.  My first experience with the Athenian Diner was when I was 16.  I had just recently gotten my driver’s license.  It was February and bitterly cold old, and my friends and I were driving around looking for a place to hang out.  We had all recently taken up somking.  With this in mind we were looking for indoor establishments where smoking was still allowed.  One of us suggested the Diner, and for the next two hours we sat in the smoking section drinking coffee and smoking cigarettes.  I left there that night with a feeling of awe.  “How could I have never known about this place before?” I wondered.  There was a great feeling of freedom or independence knowing there was this place where I could go with friends and be among other smokers and coffee drinkers.  To me it was like the site of the last stand against the Ct state legislature trying to crack down on smoking in public places.  More than that, it provided a place to go every day to get out of my house for a few hours and be with friends away from the crushing, demoralizing confines of our high school. 

I honestly believe from that first day, I was at the Athenian Diner no fewer than three times a week until I left for college.  In that time the only items I ever ordered were eggs, french fries, and coffee.  I did not even think to venture into the elaborate menu that lay before me day after day.  So many times I ignored its pleas of “Read me! Read me!”  Then one woeful day in early in 2004 something ultimately tragic happened.  Smoking was banned at the Diner.  I was devastated.  What once made the Diner such a great place to gather, relax, and hang out with friends had now been demolished.  My initial reaction was to boycott the Diner in protest of this harsh policy change.  That lasted about a week.  I learned, or more accurately speaking, I had known that smoking was to be banned in all restaurants in Ct sometime during the year, but I didn’t want to believe it. 

After my mini-boycott fell through, I was back at the Diner full-bore.  I was attending college in Massachusetts (the stained mattress on which United States’ Ultra-Liberal fornication takes place), but every time I came home I was at the Diner.  For the first time I was seated in the now defunct “non-smoking” section.  Having frequented the Diner for four years prior, I was having trouble adjusting to the non smoking section as well as the new atmosphere of the entire place.  To replace the habit of smoking cigarettes, I began venturing deep  into the menu.  I tried Reubens, Patty-Melts, Omelettes, Gyros, Belgian Waffles, and they were all remarkable.  I was always genuinely impressed upon ordering something new at how damn good it tasted.  In addition to this they offer a full dinner menu seven days a week from 3 to 10PM.  The portions on these dinners are so massive they can be divided into three separate, yet equally tasty meals. 

On one hopelessly drunken night around 3AM sometime in 2005 I stumbled upon my “tandom special”  Seated at a booth, starving but with no clue what to order, Flabio, my all time favorite Diner waiter, came over to the table to take everyone’s order.  My turn and still undecided, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and I blurted out ”french fries with cheese and gravy.”  I still don’t know why I said it.  I had had Diner fries before and they were good.  I know cheese is good, and I had the gravy there before and decided that was also good, but I cannot tell you why I decided three together sounded like a good combination.  Anticipating the worst, I took my first bite and fell in love.  Salty, starchy, and cheesy are easily three of my favorite food groups so I guess it should come as no big surprised that I really liked this dish.  I learned later on that many of my friends had actually ordered this before, and someone may have even suggested it to me that night, but in my innebriated state had completely forgotten.  The Canadians even have a name for the dish; “Putin”, but this is America so it’s called French Fries with Cheese and Gravy. 

I strictly order this dish after long, labrious nights of driking way too much usually on an empty stomach.  There is simply no better food to eat in this condition. 

To this day I still frequent the Diner.  I feel like it needs me as much as I need it.  This restaurant is as much a part of my life as my job, my friends, and air.  Every once in while I’ll glance over at the “smoking section” and reminisce on the days of sitting, smoking and drinking coffee for hours on end, but the Diner does not dwell on the past.  It is a place of progress.  It’s a place to grow unemcumbered by the monotony of the outside world.  It is also sovereign Greek territory.  Below is a list of some of my favorite Diner foods.  I believe they represent an accurate cross section of what their menu has to offer.  All of these dishes are great in their own unique ways, yet they all taste strangely similar.  If you ever find yourself at the Athenian Diner in Middletown, Ct, try out one of the following.  You won’t be disappointed. :

French Fries With Cheese and Gravy:  An off-the-menu item packed with salt, starch and cheese.  If you’re three sheets to the wind and need to sober up quickly, polish off a plate of these bad boys, pound some coffee, and sprint for the nearest toilet. 

Patty Melt (cooked Medium):  A cheeseburger on rye toast with sauteed onions.  Make sure to ask for “no tomatoes” as they are pulpy and never in season.  The juice from the burger and onions turn the bottom piece of rye toast into a soggy paste like consistency.  Recommend ketchup application is to simply pour ketchup onto plate and dip.

Cheeseburger Club (cooked medium):  Simply stated; a club sandwich with a cheeseburger instead of coldcuts.  Once again sans tomatoes.  Request the french fries well done and salt and pepper the shit out of those fuckers.  The burger adds a nice change of scenery to the club sandwich lineup.

Chicken Scampi over Linguini:  One of the afformentioned dinner menu items.  If you eat this dish in one sitting, your name is Jesus Christ; you are the son of God, and your stomach’s name is Thunderdome.  I know it sounds strange to order something like this at a diner, but it is fucking fantastic.  If you have ready access to refrigeration, I recommend you gorge until full, take the rest home, and make two more meals out of it.  Your friends will avoid for a week because you will reek of garlic, but it is well worth it.

Grilled Cheese and Bacon:  Nuff said.  Buttery, cheesy, and bacony.

Three Fried Eggs Over Easy; side of French Fries well done; said of brown gravy for french fries:  A classic dish.  This is first food item I ever ordered at the Diner.  The eggs are always done to perfection.  I get the fries well done because I like them crispy.  Dip the fries in gravy and you’re go to go…to the bathroom.